Job

Lately, things have been kinda difficult. I have found myself in somewhat of a lull after the wedding and holidays, etc. I am not enjoying, quite honestly hating, my job. I think that this is one of those times in life that you just get through. I've been seeking and thinking about this time in my life and asking the Lord "why?". Why do I have to go through this? Why do I have to struggle through things?

And perhaps the most frightening thing to me is the questions that spring up in my mind. The facts that I have known all my life, I am beginning to question. Who am I really? What is my real purpose? I assume that the Lord is growing me through this valley. I know that He is teaching me patience and faith and hope. I know that He is showing me how to make my faith my own. But it's hard. Especially some days. I know I believe in Him and in the cross, but sometimes I start second guessing myself. And I don't want to be weak and broken. I want to be strong and have everything together. I want to be unwavering and confident.

I realize that the first thing I need to do during this time was pick it up on the Bible reading. I need to be filling my mind with Truth and Hope and Love. So I picked up my Bible and I started reading Job tonight. I got through the first couple of chapters. And I felt like I could so relate to his pain. I highlighted a couple of important phrases:

"And the Lord said to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in your power, only do not lay a hand on his person". " Job 1:12

"Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head (mourned); and he fell to the ground and worshipped. And he said:

Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gives and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord

In all of this, Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong." Job 1:20-22

He fell to the ground. And worshipped. That is amazing to me. It is so unnatural for us as humans to worship in the hard times. It's so much easier when our health is good, our finances are good, we love our job, etc. But Job wasn't thinking about himself during all of this. He was thinking about the Lord and how beautiful and capable He is.

And then Job says something a few verses later that really hit me:

"Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?"

So convicting. Still chewing on that. Wow.

The commentary at the bottom of the page adds this to the story: The Bible teaches us that the purpose of life is not happiness but the praise of God's glory (Eph. 1:3-14).

This perfectly aligns with the sermon we had at church this weekend. Matt went through the Lord's prayer in Luke 11. The main point of the sermon was that prayer is not about us, it is about making much of God. He loves us to seek Him and praise Him and He loves taking care of us. But it's not like He is a genie. It's not that we put our prayer in and "poof!" we get just what we asked for. He's not a vending machine. He's a Father. One who loves us enough to say no even when we want something with all our hearts. But He also promises that He doesn't withhold anything good from us (Psalm 84:11). He loves us enough to hold the things that we think we want so that He can give us the things that we really need. He knows the desires of our heart better than we do. He created us. He knows what we are really longing for: Him. And sometimes saying "no" and leading us into brokenness is what is truly best for us, because it brings us to Him. And in the end, everything is for His glory. It's really all about Him. Every longing, every hurt, every pain, is a calling to come to Jesus. A call to come and die to yourself and experience the comfort of His presence. Let Him hold you and carry you through the valley.

Scattered thoughts fill my mind. But this one thing I know: God is good. In the midst of my struggles, in the midst of my pain, in the midst of my confusion. He is God and He deserves to be praised. No matter my circumstances, no matter how powerless or weak I may feel, He is the same. He is my rock. He never changes, and His glory never diminishes.

And He whispers to me through all of this, "I've got this. I've got you. Let Me take it. Surrender. You don't have to deal with the pain and the confusion by yourself. Just focus on Me. I took care of it all on Calvary. I am with you always."

Comments on my photo:

I love this photo for so many reasons. Its symbollism is beautiful. The father and the daughter are walking through a dark place, but there is light at the end, and he is leading her to the light. The father is holding the bag, the burden, and carrying it for the daughter. The daughter is dressed in clothes that make her look like a princess, a silk dress. She looks well taken care of. And the father has taken her by the hand and is guiding her lovingly. What a beautiful picture. I am that little girl and Jesus is the Father.